It seems that every time I sit down to write another blog post I become plagued with writers block. I want to write about interesting things, and I want people to read it, but if I don’t write anything at all that kind of defeats the purpose of keeping a blog. Yet, the easiest thing to write about is my own life.
I want to preface this post by sharing with you the 2 women who are a complete inspiration to me: Hillary Keegan and Abbie from misformama.net. Both women are confident, have a value on physical health and fitness; they have a kind and gentle spirit; they are spiritual warriors, and they are creative, fun-loving, and full of pizzaz. But most importantly, they are living their dreams.
I want to share a moment with you that I had earlier this year, and every time I think about it, it is still so profound.
For about a year and a half now, my sweetie, Jonathan, and I have been long distance. The circumstances surrounding this move were not positive, happy ones and it still breaks my heart that he’s not physically here with me. Earlier this year I was on my way to go visit him (at the time he was an hour drive from the Swartz Bay ferry terminal on the island). I was driving on highway BC-17, and it was still pitch black out. The previous trip, I was totally turned around and almost missed my ferry time so I was nervous that I might be in the wrong lane again. I looked up at the road signs and saw that I was in the correct lane – the lane that was going to the ferries – and I thought “GREAT! I am exactly where I need to be”. But then I thought about it in a broader sense: I am exactly where I need to be. I am at the exact job I need to be at (for now, regardless of how irked I can allow my coworkers to make me). I am living in the exact right place (lots of living space for a great price). And even though I don’t like the distance between us, Jonathan and I are exactly where we need to be, right now. Yes, I would have liked to be married by now. Yes, when I was younger, I had envisioned myself with 2 or more kids by now. But life is life, and even when you think you have a great plan, life will still unfold exactly as it should.
One of the things that I am so grateful for, right now, in my life, is that I go to a YHot yoga class every Tuesday (lead by Hillary). I love hot yoga because I find it completely detoxing – physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. And it forces your mind-movies to stop. Because, I’m pretty sure if I were to continue re-playing the days’ events in my head, and attempt to do a pose in hot yoga, I would either pass out or fall over. Hot yoga is demanding. It demands attention, fullness of breath, and stillness of mind. Every few classes Hillary will say “You’re exactly where you need to be”, and I think about Jonathan, and how much harder this distance would be if we were already married and how grateful I am that we are exactly where we need to be. I think about, even though I don’t envision myself long-term at my current job, how grateful I am that it pays decent, and it’s in a nice area of town, and that the few people I work with directly are so fantastic. I think of my family, and even though they are also long distance, I am so grateful we all have a loving, peaceful relationship void of stress or strain. So, while I envision so many things to be different in my life, the reality is, I’m exactly where I need to be right now. And that is a powerful realization.
Yesterday I sat down with my VP and we have a conversation around goals – both professionally and personally. We identified where I would be interested to go if I stayed with the company, and some challenges or areas of additional experience I’d need before that step could become a reality. Personally, my #1 goal is marriage and babies, but as there is still some time between now and then, I have a few other interests I’d like to pursue. One, would be this blog site, including mixing and recording some of my own music; and two, is to complete yoga teacher training. I believe by next year this time, I should have some very palpable progress with.
A little mini step forward is that I was able to recently purchase a keyboard. I grew up playing piano for 14 years, but for the past 8 have had no piano of my own to practice on. While my sight-reading skills need some major improvement, it is so great to play around and start creating my own music. I have to move my place around a little before the piano would fit. It’s a shame that I don’t have a better before photo, but here is a before and after of my little space.
Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention it is Remembrance Day today. I read a beautiful article in The Province newspaper yesterday about the battle of Vimy Ridge. According to another article earlier in the week, there is now only 1 person in Canada who was alive in the 19th Century. With Canada’s 100th anniversary of the Vimy Ridge Battle next year, part of me wonders how many people will continue to remember our history now that it is so far removed and impersonal. But for me, I am grateful, I remember, and I am proud. Long live Canada.
Repost from 2015 Remembrance Day Service